Definition: Tord-boyaux

Very strong or poor-quality brandy.

Bad wine that upsets the stomach (i.e. the intestines).

Pierre Perret

LE TORD BOYAUX

It's a really dirty dive

Where the lads, on top of the calendar,

Wash down their meals with homemade Kroutchev,

A Bordeaux that's not exactly top-notch.

From time to time, there's an old man who reeks of sweat

Treats himself to some old ham with old butter

And then a girl, a pretty minx

Who promises mountains of caresses.

At the Tord Boyaux,

The owner's name is Bruno.

He's got grease in his hair,

Big blackheads on his nose.

When Bruno makes the menu and serves it,

You'll feel the first pangs of pain with dessert,

Your stomach on its knees begging for mercy,

The intestines knitting doilies

Grandmother's kneecaps are butter

Next to the steak and steamed potatoes.

If you still have a molar left before you go in,

A word of advice: leave it in the cloakroom.

At Tord Boyaux,

The owner's name is Bruno.

His wife died three months ago

From a stomach ulcer.

You won't hear any meowing here.

In this neighbourhood, even in the mildest month

You're not likely to hear a meow.

There are no more cute cats around.

They've all become "chef's terrine".

I'll long remember a gasman

Who wanted game at all costs.

He fell before he could suck the bones,

His moustache crossed on the floor.

At the Tord Boyaux,

The owner's name is Bruno.

He spits everywhere.

It makes eyes in the broth.

The service is a strange thing.

As for the chicken supreme,

He doesn't even take the time to send you the announcement

Before you've already got it all over your suit.

Be careful, watch out for the cheese.

His Camembert has reached maturity.

Before you go near it, I swear you'll hesitate

Or else you've got sinusitis.

At Tord Boyaux,

The owner's name is Bruno.

Just by smelling the mironton,

Your face will be covered in spots.

It's a really dirty dive

Where the lads, on top of the calendar,

Wash down their meals with homemade Kroutchev,

A Bordeaux that's not half bad.

This place is so friendly

That already all of Paris is flocking here,

A little disappointed not to be invited

Or filmed by the news.

At Tord Boyaux,

The owner's name is Bruno.

Go and see him quickly before

He buys the Tour-d'Argent.